I think a part of it is taking yourself seriously. Can you take yourself seriously?

I went and bought score for rachmaninov’s 3rd piano concerto arranged for two pianos. even though I’ll never be able to play it (plus I’m not good enough to hear the whole orchestra anyway), piano is very enjoyable again. I’m hoping to get the melody parts, cadenza, etc. down.

so I’ve stopped practicing the other stuff for now. I was boring myself to death.

also mistakes in the score are annoying. for every error I do catch, I imagine there must be two I don’t

everywhere people talk about how to treat each other, and they say “… because that is how I would want to be treated”, and they feel very good about themselves.

I always (probably not always, but a long time already) thought there was something wrong with this argument. Without giving it too much additional thought, I would rather they say “… because that is how I think people should be treated”.

I want to learn to be someone with grace. to not judge others. I don’t really blame anyone for anything (as everything is necessary, if you follow), but still I sometimes judge. to allow others to make mistakes, as I allow myself to.

I think it goes along with being a nicer person. I’m really not a very nice person. Patience probably plays a role in there somewhere too. I’m not patient either.

I want to work harder. I really do.

I feel like my piano has gotten worse.. endurance at least. Arms are getting tired playing stuff I could play before.

Butterfly Etude - memorized again, right hand re-learned. difficult to play without pedal, but oh well. “passable”
Liszt, Liebestraum - generally memorized, generally ’satisfied’ except the first technical passage
Rachmaninov, Prelude in G minor - this is proving more difficult than I expected. I thought I would only have to work on it stylistically because I could sort of, kind of play it already years ago, but my forearms get tired now and it’s not working :(

Probably some Debussy next since it’s pretty easy and should be fast. Maybe another Chopin Etude. A lot of Chopin bores me, so don’t know. Maybe I’ll check out his 2nd sonata or something like that.

Could re-memorize and polish Ravel’s Jeux d’eau

So that’s what’s next. I may try to change my approach and just focus on memorizing first.

in the third person, I know I am very fortunate

I was suspicious of a common misprint of a missing note in both my copies of this etude, so I checked to see if imslp had one. They do: link

Indeed, the note is there in this older version, but it’s 1 versus 2. Maybe Karl Klindworth inserted it and the newer copies are using the original?

Also, notice the way it’s notated, separating the voices. What’s also interesting is Klindworth’s pedal marks, which contradict the ones in my other copies at the end. In general I find pedal marks should be disregarded and one should use his own ear to get the style/feel he wants. Personally with this piece I like using minimal pedal for color only so that the left hand is distinctly staccato.

Also I think I want to relearn the right hand so I’m not playing the eigth-notes in the melody as sixteenths. You can cheat if you pedal as suggested but I really like the staccato bass notes.

borrowed chords are actually very common in all styles of music, but for whatever reason I don’t “feel” them as innately. I don’t know if this is true for others, but it’s probably mostly just me. all the more reason to listen to more new music and train the ear!

compare the following

all within the key: Emin G D Amin

with E G D Amin

or Emin G D A

or even E G D A

creating distinctly different harmonic characters

I feel like playing it now too